A blog of lessons for life

I am committed to your journey and want to share all I can to help you transform!

Why We Need to Feel Needed and How to Overcome It

As human beings, we all have a basic need for connection and belonging. We want to feel like we matter, that we have a purpose and that others value us. However, when this need becomes an overpowering desire to feel needed, it can create issues that impact our mental and emotional well-being. Let’s take a closer look at some reasons why a person may feel the need to be needed and what can be done to overcome it.

Low Self-Esteem

A person with low self-esteem may believe they don’t have much to offer, so they seek validation by being needed by others. To overcome this, it’s essential to build self-esteem by identifying and challenging negative self-talk, focusing on strengths and accomplishments, setting and achieving goals, and engaging in self-care activities that promote positive feelings about oneself.

Lack of Purpose

If a person does not have a sense of purpose or direction in life, they may try to find it by being needed by others. Finding purpose can involve exploring one’s interests, values, and goals, and finding ways to use those things to contribute to something greater than oneself, such as a cause or community.

Codependency

A codependent person may feel like they need to be needed by others to feel valuable or important. Overcoming codependency can involve:

  • Developing healthy boundaries.
  • Learning to say “no” when necessary.
  • Practicing self-care and self-compassion.

Fear of Abandonment

A person afraid of being abandoned may try to make themselves indispensable to others to prevent them from leaving. Addressing the fear of abandonment can involve examining the underlying beliefs and emotions that fuel the fear, challenging negative thought patterns, and practising self soothing and relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety.

Control Issues

A person with control issues may feel the need to be needed to maintain control over a situation or relationship. Overcoming control issues can involve:

  • Examining the reasons behind the need for control.
  • Learning to let go of things that are outside of one’s control.
  • Practising mindfulness and self-awareness to manage emotions and reactions.


Feeling needed is a natural and healthy human desire. However, when it becomes a persistent need that dominates a person’s thoughts and behaviours, it can be a sign that deeper issues need to be addressed. Individuals can find greater fulfilment and satisfaction in life by identifying and addressing the underlying issues behind the need to be needed. As a mental fitness coach, I work with clients to develop self-awareness, identify negative thought patterns, and provide tools and strategies for improving mental and emotional well-being. If you are struggling with the need to be needed or any other mental health issues, please reach out for support. Together, we can achieve mental fitness and find greater joy and fulfillment in life.

Related posts

Bettina Koster of Life Coach Dubai

Stuck in Your Career? Address Childhood Traumas With Life Coaching!

Introduction In today’s high-pressure corporate environment, your career is more than just a list of qualifications. Professional success is intricately linked with emotional well-being, which can often be traced back to formative experiences in our childhood. Believe it or not, ‘small’ childhood traumas can be pivotal in shaping your adult professional life. As a bio-energetic mental fitness life coach with a holistic approach, I’ve seen firsthand how addressing these hidden issues with life coaching can unlock avenues for career growth and personal happiness. Understanding ‘Small’ Childhood Traumas We all carry emotional baggage from our early years. These traumas may not necessarily be glaring instances of neglect or abuse. Even seemingly ‘small’ traumas—like emotional neglect, persistent teasing, or overwhelming parental expectations—can profoundly impact our mental health and, by extension, our career performance. How ‘Small’ Childhood Traumas Affect Your Career 1. Leadership Skills Poor self-esteem stemming from childhood experiences could manifest as hesitancy in leadership roles. Leadership isn’t about domineering control but inspiring trust and collaboration. A compromised sense of self can cripple these essential leadership qualities. 2. Decision-Making The echoes of childhood often linger in our adult decision-making. Career coaching can help spotlight these issues, allowing you to navigate professional choices with increased clarity and balanced judgment. 3. Team Relationships Forming effective teams requires trust, something that may be scarce if you’ve faced ‘small’ childhood traumas like emotional neglect. These past experiences could create invisible barriers to effective communication and collaboration. 4. Performance Anxiety This is a widespread issue in high-stakes

Read More
True Happiness – Why We Sometimes Miss True Happiness

Why We Sometimes Miss True Happiness

We all want to be happy. But sometimes, our idea of happiness is clouded by what society or our inner voice tells us. We need specific things or achievements to be truly happy. But research shows that it’s not always these big moments or possessions that give us long-lasting joy. Chasing the Wrong Goals From the time we are young, society often guides us towards a certain idea of success. We’re told that possessing the latest gadgets, earning promotions at work, or achieving life’s major milestones will bring us happiness. But interestingly, research reveals a different story. While these achievements may bring short-lived joy, they often leave us with a feeling of emptiness, leading to a never-ending cycle of wanting more. Instead of chasing these external markers, we should be looking inward for more sustained and authentic happiness. Being Afraid to Be Too Happy It might sound unusual, but many of us carry a subtle fear of experiencing too much happiness. Some think there’s a catch: “If things are going too well, when will the other shoe drop?” Others may carry guilt, thinking they don’t truly deserve to feel intense joy or fearing that too much happiness might invite bad luck. Research has indeed highlighted that this apprehension around happiness is quite prevalent in many individuals, emphasizing the need to address such beliefs. Always Putting Others First While being caring and empathetic are admirable qualities, there’s a fine line between being supportive and constantly sidelining our own needs. Consistently prioritizing

Read More

How to find the right life coach: Questions toAsk

A life coach can help you achieve your goals, conquer obstacles, and unlock your potential. But with so many coaches out there, how do you find the right one for you? The key is to ask the right questions! In this post, we’ll cover some crucial questions to ask potential coaches, including why gut feelings and reviews matter and how being open to change is vital for success. Plus, we’ll explore the difference between classical life coaches and mental fitness coaches with their bio-energetic approach. What is a Life Coach, Anyway? A life coach is like a personal trainer for your mind! They help you get clear on your goals, develop a plan to achieve them and provide accountability and support to keep you on track. They’re not therapists but may use some therapeutic techniques in their coaching practice. Questions to Ask Your Potential Coach Why Gut Feelings and Reviews Matter Choosing a life coach is a big deal; your gut feelings matter! You need to feel comfortable and trusting with your coach to be open and honest about your goals and challenges. Plus, reviews can provide a sense of the coach’s effectiveness and impact on their clients. Being Open to Change A life coach can provide you with the tools and support to achieve your goals, but you need to be open to change and new ideas. A willingness to embrace growth and challenge your limitations is key to success in coaching. Wrapping it up Finding the right life

Read More