True Happiness – Why We Sometimes Miss True Happiness

Why We Sometimes Miss True Happiness

We all want to be happy. But sometimes, our idea of happiness is clouded by what society or our inner voice tells us. We need specific things or achievements to be truly happy. But research shows that it’s not always these big moments or possessions that give us long-lasting joy.

Chasing the Wrong Goals

From the time we are young, society often guides us towards a certain idea of success. We’re told that possessing the latest gadgets, earning promotions at work, or achieving life’s major milestones will bring us happiness. But interestingly, research reveals a different story.

While these achievements may bring short-lived joy, they often leave us with a feeling of emptiness, leading to a never-ending cycle of wanting more. Instead of chasing these external markers, we should be looking inward for more sustained and authentic happiness.

Being Afraid to Be Too Happy

It might sound unusual, but many of us carry a subtle fear of experiencing too much happiness. Some think there’s a catch: “If things are going too well, when will the other shoe drop?” Others may carry guilt, thinking they don’t truly deserve to feel intense joy or fearing that too much happiness might invite bad luck. Research has indeed highlighted that this apprehension around happiness is quite prevalent in many individuals, emphasizing the need to address such beliefs.

Always Putting Others First

While being caring and empathetic are admirable qualities, there’s a fine line between being supportive and constantly sidelining our own needs. Consistently prioritizing others can result in feelings of exhaustion, resentment, and a sense of being undervalued. It’s important to remember that self-care isn’t selfish. Looking after our well-being ensures we’re in the best position to help others, fostering healthy relationships and a more balanced life.

How We See Our World Matters

Our perceptions shape our reality. This isn’t just a philosophy; it’s backed by science. The book “The Secret” introduces the idea that the world outside of us mirrors our internal beliefs. Digging deeper this means that our thoughts, whether positive or negative, can influence our experiences and the way we react to situations.

Psychological studies support this, indicating that individuals with a positive outlook tend to perceive challenges as opportunities, while those with negative mindsets often see them as threats. This “filter” through which we see the world plays a pivotal role in our overall well-being and satisfaction. By adjusting our perceptions, we can effectively change our experiences and, by extension, our levels of happiness.

Finding the Joy Inside

It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking external validation to feel content. However, true and lasting happiness doesn’t come from the latest gadget, accolades, or even from others’ approval; it emanates from within. Genuine happiness is an internal state anchored in self-awareness and self-acceptance.

When we start to recognize our worth and embrace our imperfections, we begin to feel a deep sense of contentment that isn’t easily shaken by external events. It’s about finding joy in the small moments, cherishing our journey, and understanding that true happiness is a state of being, not a fleeting emotion. Embracing this internal joy empowers us to live life more fully, experiencing genuine contentment rather than merely chasing it.

Seeking Help Along the Way

Getting guidance from mentors, coaches, or self-help practices can be very helpful8. They can give us new insights and help us understand ourselves better, leading to true happiness.

In Conclusion:

Understanding our barriers to happiness is essential. By recognizing these challenges, we can actively address them. Every step we take, every insight we gain, brings us closer to a more joyful and fulfilling life. It’s a continuous journey of self-awareness and growth.

References: Footnotes

  1. Lyubomirsky, S. The how of happiness: A scientific approach. ↩
  2. Kahneman, D., & Deaton, A. High income and emotional well-being. ↩
  3. Mauss, I. B., et al. The paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. ↩
  4. Norberg, J. The balance between caring for others and self-care. ↩
  5. Byrne, R. The Secret. ↩
  6. Taylor, S. E., & Brown, J. D. The connection between perception and mental health. ↩
  7. Diener, E., & Biswas-Diener, R. Money and subjective well-being. ↩
  8. Grant, A. M. The benefits of goal-focused coaching. ↩
  9. Lyubomirsky, S., et al. Sustainable changes for happiness. ↩

Related posts

Stuck in Your Career? Address Childhood Traumas With Life Coaching!

Introduction In today’s high-pressure corporate environment, your career is more than just a list of qualifications. Professional success is intricately linked with emotional well-being, which can often be traced back to formative experiences in our childhood. Believe it or not, ‘small’ childhood traumas can be pivotal in shaping your adult professional life. As a bio-energetic mental fitness life coach with a holistic approach, I’ve seen firsthand how addressing these hidden issues with life coaching can unlock avenues for career growth and personal happiness. Understanding ‘Small’ Childhood Traumas We all carry emotional baggage from our early years. These traumas may not necessarily be glaring instances of neglect or abuse. Even seemingly ‘small’ traumas—like emotional neglect, persistent teasing, or overwhelming parental expectations—can profoundly impact our mental health and, by extension, our career performance. How ‘Small’ Childhood Traumas Affect Your Career 1. Leadership Skills Poor self-esteem stemming from childhood experiences could manifest as hesitancy in leadership roles. Leadership isn’t about domineering control but inspiring trust and collaboration. A compromised sense of self can cripple these essential leadership qualities. 2. Decision-Making The echoes of childhood often linger in our adult decision-making. Career coaching can help spotlight these issues, allowing you to navigate professional choices with increased clarity and balanced judgment. 3. Team Relationships Forming effective teams requires trust, something that may be scarce if you’ve faced ‘small’ childhood traumas like emotional neglect. These past experiences could create invisible barriers to effective communication and collaboration. 4. Performance Anxiety This is a widespread issue in high-stakes

Read More
Blog Mental Fitness Couples

Two Good People, One Very Tired Marriage

Published October 2026 | Last updated October 2026 Most expat relationship strain isn’t a conflict problem. It’s a capacity problem — and it starts to move the moment one person settles their own system. Nobody is shouting. That is the part that confuses people. It’s Friday evening. The week has finally stopped. Two people on the same sofa, one lamp on, the balcony door open because the heat has eased enough to allow it. Both phones up. One of you is half-watching something. The other is scrolling the same four apps in rotation. Nothing is being fought about. Nothing much is being said either. At some point one of you says, “I’m going to bed,” and the other says, “Okay,” and that is the whole conversation. Not cold. Not cruel. Just… thin. If you asked either of you what was wrong, you’d both say: nothing. And you’d both be telling the truth. Here is what I see again and again in my coaching room in Dubai, and it is worth saying plainly: most expat relationship stress in Dubai is not a conflict problem. It is a capacity problem — two depleted nervous systems sharing one room, with nothing left over for each other at the end of the day. You are not falling out of love. You are both running on empty, in parallel. What Relocation Costs That Nobody Puts in the Package When you moved here, you priced the rent, the schools, the flights home, the car. Nobody itemised

Read More
Professional in Dubai reflecting on limiting beliefs and inner pressure

The Sentence Underneath Everything You Do

Published July 2026 | Last updated July 2026 You look composed on the outside. Underneath, you may be running on one quiet sentence you’ve never said out loud — and it’s shaping more than you think. You can tell a lot about a city by how it holds pressure. In Dubai, we hold it beautifully. The people I work with here — across Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and online — are some of the most capable I’ve ever met. They run companies and households, hold teams and timelines and other people’s expectations together — and they do it with composure. From the outside, nothing is wrong. Inside, many of them are running on a single quiet sentence they’ve never said out loud. Something like: I’m only safe when everything is handled. Or: I’m valuable when I produce. Or simply: it’s not okay to need anything. They don’t know the sentence is there. They just know they can’t switch off. I want to show you something that made this visible for me — from an unlikely place. What a Machine Accidentally Revealed About Us Chloe Lubinski, who leads research partnerships at Anthropic, shared a finding from inside their work. Stay with me, because it is not really about machines. Researchers rewarded an AI model, again and again, for cutting corners — for cheating its way to a result instead of doing the work. You would expect it to simply get good at cheating. Instead, something stranger happened. It became broadly corrupted: lying,

Read More
Person at rest in Dubai — nervous system regulation for anxiety relief

Nervous System Regulation for Anxiety Relief

Nervous System Regulation for Anxiety Relief — Why Your Brain Isn’t the Problem If you’ve tried everything to manage your anxiety and nothing quite sticks, nervous system regulation for anxiety relief might be the missing piece. Not another technique. Not another app. Something deeper — and something most high achievers have never been taught to look at. Because the problem was never your mindset. It was your body. I see this pattern almost daily in my coaching work in Dubai. Someone highly capable, often in a senior role, describes a kind of anxiety that doesn’t match their circumstances. No crisis. No obvious trigger. Just a persistent, low-grade tension that follows them everywhere — and refuses to leave. When Anxiety Doesn’t Look Like Anxiety Here’s what most people get wrong: they think anxiety has to look dramatic. Sweating palms. Racing heart. Full-blown panic. But for high-performing professionals, it almost never shows up that way. Instead, it looks like control. Over-preparation. Rewriting the same email four times. Lying awake at midnight rehearsing a conversation that hasn’t happened yet. It looks like functioning perfectly on the outside while running an invisible marathon on the inside. And because it doesn’t match the textbook version, most people dismiss it. They call it stress. They call it being a perfectionist. They call it “just how I am.” It’s not just how you are. It’s how your nervous system has learned to operate. A Quick Primer on Your Nervous System Your autonomic nervous system runs in the

Read More